Re:The living dead.

I’ll rattle out some hollow breaths with broken lungs.

Does it work that way though? Just come back to life, “Hey how are ya? How ya been? Sorry I’ve been gone for so long.”

I’ll try to clasp broken fingers with frightened hands.

As decay brought forward, I have an anthology of unsaid words and missed contacts but lack the words to make up for loss of time.

With rotten teeth I’ll attempt a smile.

I’m back for now, as long as this shambled body will have me.

I feel like I’m breaking down some days. Or the more correct thing to say would be some nights.  I spend too much time thinking why I’m doing what I’m doing, or why I’m doing anything. I can’t seem to find a real answer to that. I mean I know I like doing certain things, and I know I’m good at others, but that doesn’t seem to add up a reason to be.  Even more over I can’t seem to understand my place for other people in more of a metaphysical or emotional sense.  I’ve had this weird feeling of disconnect where I can’t make sense of anything more than just me taking up a physical space for anyone. Don’t get me wrong, I know people care about me and all that, but it’s just a weird thought for me lately. It has created such a dissonance for me. I’ve been really sad lately and I know I have reasons to be happy and I know I should work to be happy, but thinking about making an effort to be in an emotional state doesn’t seem to work. I usually am what I am because that’s the product of whatever I’m thinking. I should try to change my thought pattern but the more I try the more stuck in ruts I get. Simply existing doesn’t seem like it should be this hard, but lately it is. Maybe I’m just over thinking. Maybe I just need some rest. But there’s no real fixing either of those for me right now.

What I can do is know the sun is shining and enjoy it while I can.

I have work to do.

I won’t stop. I don’t think I could even if I wanted to. If I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going then I will flail and panic and throw caution to the wind sprinting aimlessly into the unknown. At least that way I’ll see something new rather than just sitting passively waiting for things to change around me.

I’m in love with a willow, but she ain’t weepin’, nah she ain’t weepin. It’s the middle of winter but she’s still bustin’ and bloomin’ asking me to lay in the shade all day long and that’s just fine with me.

You are not broken, so you cannot be fixed.

My heart never could beat in perfect rhythm.

Little by little my bones crawled out of my skin, my blood still ran red and it flowed gently with the nightmares pouring from my head.

and if it’s lit just right it feels like home and a glass bottle could never hold everything I have to say, but if left alone a more profound understanding of getting by comes.

My name is Kevin Scott Franz and I am 22 years and 10 months old, born to Steven Craig Franz and Patti Jean Franz. My birthday is February 28th. I was born in Cory, Pennsylvania. I have also lived in Bristol, Conneticut, Cleveland Ohio, Southbend Indiana and now Omaha Nebraska. I’ve had extended stays in Denver, CO, Madison, WI and Seattle. I am going to school at the University of Nebraska Omaha for art and psychology. I’ve said I wanted to be an artist since I can remember and I’m trying to my best to keep that up.  I want to get my masters for art or art therapy. 

I live with one of my oldest and best friends, Ren, short for Renan. I have an older brother. His name is Christopher Andrew Franz and he is 29. His wife is named Jennifer and his daughter is Hannah. She was born the day before my birthday and is going to be 2 this year. She’s a crazy little red head. They are having another child. I found that out today and I couldn’t be happier. I have a cat named Merlin. He’s a wizard and the coolest animal I’ve ever owned.

I love music and old horror movies. I read twice as many books a year as I am old plus a lot of comics. I like riding my bike. I like dumb cartoons and anime. I can play piano, guitar, bass and viola. I like to play ukeleles and banjos but I’m not very good. I play a lot of video games when I have time.

Interesting jobs I’ve had include: working at a glass studio, doing tattoos at a shop, working for a contemporary art gallery.

I have frequent dreams of fire and a lot of ones about being alone.  

I am scared of moths and paper cuts. 

Sometimes I’m sad, but a lot of times I’m happy.  I mostly over think everything, but it’s ok I like who I am and I like what I do and I am forever grateful for the people in my life. 

I still can’t sleep on Christmas eve.

That’s something about me. Tell me something about you.